In People Magazine Paris Hilton Details Her ‘Painful’ Experience with RSD and Compares It to ‘Demon in Your Mind’ Talking Negative to You
On an episode of popular podcasters and couple Lauryn Bosstick and Michael Bosstick’s Dear Media’s The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show, Hilton sat down with the couple for a wide-ranging conversation detailing her experience dealing with rejection sensitive dysphoria, which she said was common in those with ADHD.
Hilton admitted that she had dealt with symptoms of RSD, which she described as “almost like a demon in your mind that is like saying negative self-talk to you.”
Admittedly, Hilton also said that she “didn’t even know what [RSD] was before,” but after talking to “so many people” with ADHD, she learned that many of them feel the same way.
“I just felt like something was wrong with me and I’d just be sad, but then I would just mask or, like, kind of try to act like nothing’s wrong on the inside … I was just going through so many emotions, and after speaking to so many others with ADHD, I can totally understand it now. It’s exhausting having to do that and to feel that way.”
Now, she says, “I’m learning so much and I just wish that I knew all I know now, back when I was a kid growing up in school, but I’m doing this for the little girl in me … now I see it as a superpower, and I wouldn’t be the person that I am today without it. I’m such a creator. I’m constantly thinking of new ideas.”
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is an intensely painful emotional experience. If you or someone you love struggles with it, you likely know that the word “sensitive” doesn’t quite capture the sheer weight of the feeling.
It isn’t just about disliking criticism; it is an overwhelming, sometimes physically agonizing reaction to the perception of being rejected, criticized, or failing to meet expectations.
While not officially recognized as a standalone diagnosis in the DSM-5, RSD is widely acknowledged by mental health professionals, particularly as a common and debilitating feature of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and other forms of neurodivergence.
The Anatomy of RSD
For individuals with RSD, the brain’s emotional regulation systems respond to perceived social threats as if they were physical dangers.
- Hyper-Vigilance: People who experience rejection sensitivity often readily detect—and sometimes anxiously expect—rejection or criticism, which can disrupt their attention and focus on other aspects of life (Berenson et al., 2009).
- The Emotional and Physical Toll: An RSD episode is not just a fleeting bad mood. It frequently triggers profound misery, severe anxiety, and intense bodily sensations of panic or pain (Rowney-Smith et al., 2024).
- The Coping Mechanisms: To survive this emotional volatility, many individuals resort to “masking” (camouflaging their true selves to avoid judgment) or extreme social withdrawal. Unfortunately, over time, chronic masking can lead to a painful dissociation from one’s own identity and profound loneliness (Rowney-Smith et al., 2024). Furthermore, frequent real-world experiences of stigma and criticism can internalize into deeply negative self-worth (Beaton et al., 2022).
How Mental Health Therapy Helps
Because RSD is often driven by neurological differences in emotional processing, standard “tough love” or being told to simply “grow a thicker skin” is not only unhelpful—it is actively invalidating. However, targeted mental health therapies can provide highly effective, compassionate tools for managing these emotional spikes.
Here are the primary ways therapy helps individuals navigate RSD:
1. Developing the “Emotional Pause” Rejection reactions are incredibly fast. Certain therapies focus on strengthening executive functions like inhibitory control—the ability to interrupt an emotionally reactive response and replace it with a more grounded, appropriate one (Motamedi et al., 2015). By building a gap between the trigger (a perceived slight) and the reaction (an emotional spiral), individuals gain the power to evaluate the situation before responding.
2. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Distress Tolerance DBT is heavily focused on emotional regulation and is increasingly recognized as a powerful tool for neurodivergent adults. As highlighted by Mindlift Psychology, DBT teaches “distress tolerance” skills. Techniques like paced breathing help calm the nervous system’s fight-or-flight response. Additionally, DBT’s concept of radical acceptance allows individuals to acknowledge their emotional pain without collapsing into shame, helping them move through the pain rather than getting stuck in it.
3. Cognitive Restructuring Therapeutic approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help individuals identify and challenge the cognitive distortions that fuel RSD. Because people with RSD are prone to misinterpreting neutral feedback or ambiguous language as harsh criticism, a therapist can help clients “reality test” their perceptions. They learn to separate facts from fear, significantly reducing the frequency of false alarms.
4. Dismantling Shame and Fostering Self-Compassion Perhaps the most crucial role of therapy is providing a neuro-affirming space where the individual does not feel broken. Therapists help clients unlearn the shame associated with their sensitivity, encouraging deep self-validation. Recognizing that these intense emotions are a byproduct of their neurobiology—not a character flaw—allows for profound healing and gives them the courage to stop masking their authentic selves.
References
Beaton, D. M., Sirois, F., & Milne, E. (2022). Experiences of criticism in adults with ADHD: A qualitative study. PLOS ONE, 17, e0263366. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0263366 Cited by: 142
Berenson, K. R., Gyurak, A., Ayduk, Ö., et al. (2009). Rejection sensitivity and disruption of attention by social threat cues. Journal of Research in Personality, 43, 1064-1072. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2009.07.007 Cited by: 601
Motamedi, M., Bierman, K., & Huang-Pollock, C. L. (2015). Rejection Reactivity, Executive Function Skills, and Social Adjustment Problems of Inattentive and Hyperactive Kindergarteners. Social Development, 25, 322-339. https://doi.org/10.1111/sode.12143 Cited by: 36
Rowney-Smith, A., Sutton, B., Quadt, L., & Eccles, J. A. (2024). The lived experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD – a qualitative exploration. https://doi.org/10.1101/2024.11.16.24317418 Cited by: 5
People Magazine https://people.com/paris-hilton-opens-up-about-adhd-rsd-on-the-him-and-her-show-exclusive-11891406
